Discovering Me: The Journey so far

Back when I opened my blog during my university days, I wanted to just make money by copying and pasting stuffs. I had heard how people were making money blogging, the likes of Linda Ikeji. Hence, I wasn't really interested in creating a niche,just copy and paste and the money flows in, it was that simple until google adsense  slapped me in the face for copied content. So, I slowed down and decided to create my contents and being not much of a writer but a talker, it wasn't really easy. Every-time I feel like blogging but something pops up and I don't.

Growing up I was this tiny little girl with no strength that could be easily blown away by the wind. I was so fragile but I never pitied myself for once because I was always the only girl in my area strong enough to play ball with the boys despite buying boot i.e injuries and all. I rarely talked to people  kept to myself a lot and this was construed as being proud. I had strict parents whom I revered and so I was fearful of making mistakes which I always made anyways. Withdrawn and fearful,with shoulders high, I didn't talk much about what I was facing with anyone but while I was disliked by most,I was feared by many because my aggression was grade one.

Oba Awon University( OAU) taught me a lot. I went to school with this mentality of keeping to myself which I succeeded in doing. Predegree was fun with Olugbon girls, always looking for trouble, Lest I forget I am troublesome o.(Full dose) then OAU year one stayed with final year students. I was so troublesome, chai! I was abusive and intolerant. You dare not touch my item, will yell and turn. I learnt some isale eko abuses from my predegree roomie so time to put it into use.

However, I was still this reserved individual who never smiled and was tight up, no friend apart from one naughty lady who took me as I was and could calm my excesses(Oluwabusayo), mehn! Ican like to frustrate her. She was really more like a sister I never had and all my roomies were just the bomb from start to finish. I was also very blunt and if I decide to show you pepper hen!, you're in for it o! So, I passed thru Ife without passing Moz 101, na carryover cos be that if I decide to go for Masters there. 

Jw family was tight-knit but I managed to exclude myself, still feel bad about that though. The one thing I cherished but wasn't part off. Tried to mingle with some Jw babes but got my fingers burnt so I locked up real time. Still miss the fact that I don't get to attend weddings because I got no friends. 

English department where you've got to lay low till you finish. That department no be beans especially when an aspiring accountant with love for manufacturing account and numbers and hatred for novels and Shakespeare get to be an English student. Those period when you've got to write pages to explain a point and you keep wondering  why your best friend needs an extra sheet. You are doomed. All in all, I love stylistics because that course gets you thinking and brings the best in you( Never had a B though, honorable C's throughout). Forensic Linguistics still remains an unfulfilled dream though.

A: Good afternoon Sir

B: Good afternoon, Bawo ni

A: Fine sir

B: Are you in this department

A: Yes sir.

B: And you did not pass thru me.

A: laughs mumulishly

B: That is wonderful, Which part are you?

A: Part 4, Sir

B: Ha, You are true already, O Ga o

The joy I felt knew no bounds on this day. The fact that I remained elusive and scaled through peacefully with my tiny self though I was termed a coded runs babe. I was happy I was someones crush though. *winks*. I wish I could go back and revisit my days in school, go to erin ijesha, OAU zoo, mountain top and just enjoy my stay in Ife.

I however, had so many lovely days and memories which I will forever keep close to my heart.

Fast forward to after school, I had life all arranged, go to service, get a job and get married to the love of my life. 

It happened just as planned, I was posted to Benue, went there, told to go back due to congestion and come back for stream 2, got attacked by fulani herdsmen in benin bypass, escaped being shot, went back to camp, fell sick and got redeployed to Lagos instead of my beloved Osun despite my runs.

It still baffles me that NYSC can do such a great mistake though, count my blessings, served in FAAN, met a new and lovely set of people with whom I made lovely memories.  I also met a woman like my mum, a mother and stronghold who helped and facilitated my posting.

Alas, there are two families I am also grateful to, they were ever willing to have my troublesome self under there roof and for one year plus they catered for all my needs. I may seem like an ingrate but I am forever grateful for your acts of loving kindness and patience💋💋 towards me.

So I served my fatherland as mandated by my country, did I get a job? Yes. I started volunteering and going for several seminars, dropped my CV in various organizations, did cold calls, went for trainings; NEPC/Stylehousefiles Garment construction, Lagos State skill acquisition, worked part-time at Premise data research, slum to school volunteer, attended Poise graduate finishing academy on scholarship, worked at ACE/Chicken republic, learnt bead making, got admitted into the Andela android learning community but didn't push thru, opened my first eCommerce store etc.

Then I got a job as a Child Helpline Counselor and it really changed me drastically, I could finally let out all the things I had bottled up, I could speak up because I knew I wasn't alone. I knew there were other kids who needed help. I became calmer, I am part of a team of people who want the best  for children all over the world. I am gradually learning to be friendlier, calmer, less aggressive, subtle and less a devil as my cousin (Kemi) termed it.

The journey hasn't been easy but I know it would get better. I am not perfect, nor am I trying to be, I have got my flaws, a whole bunch of it which I am working on so if you meet me on this journey, thanks for understanding.

Eventually, I never got to marry him who I never stopped loving but I got to discover me and I realize I may not always get what I want but Jah sure knows what I need. He has never failed me. 

My service to God has been full of ups and downs, I won't promise and fail but I will try to improve. 

Basically, I have made so many wrong turns but no need capitalizing on that now, I have stepped on enough toes and I have been termed wicked.

In all, just see the little good in me and stop giving yourself BP.  I will wrong you but forgive me 99*99. I wonder why I am troublesome but I am just perfectly me. Extremely playful, lovely, talkative, too blunt, too open and troublesome and extremely caring. Just look beneath the "wahala" and see ME trying to be a friend. It takes so little to activate my MuMu button.

LoVE TO my MuM and that lovely one who is forever in my heart, the one who knows that beneath the Strong Me is a Tender heart that sheds tears when no one is looking, that hides her pain under her strong countenance. January 1st are usually not my days so I just hide under my blanket(companion) and sleep. I just want to be the outgoing me I never was.

It hasn't been an easy journey but it has been worthwhile. I have learnt a whole lot and I keep learning everyday.